You did a great job with the audio version- not sure how you managed it, but thanks. I am more likely to listen than to read. I hope you are feeling better soon.
Dear Laura. I don’t really know you, but I do. This is painfully beautiful. I’m grateful for every single word, all your words really. And I can’t imagine the courage it takes to be where you are right now. Thank you.
This applies to most (all?) of us. Just barely keeping our shit together as the world falls apart around us - or at least the parts that we depend on or assume will be there to catch us. And then it's our turn.
One of the greatest mysteries of Man is why he remains obstinate in sin. Why does he prolong his suffering? All there is present in secularism is despair, powerlessness, and horror. Hope is irrational. And yet, it is this very assessment of truth that Godless men wish to remain in. Why bother? There are no laudable convictions in a Godless world; truth becomes relative. It is non-sensical, and the testimony of the nonsense is the suffering and restlessness they endure every day, creating their own personal Hell.
I know because I was there, where you were. Except we had coloring activates and group therapy. I will admit you had it worse, because that group therapy was what kept me afloat. Still, it was only a distraction from the Hell I had created for my self in my soul, which waited at the gate of my conscious for just a moment of boredom or leisure. COVID has only exposed the depravity that was already there, and in experiencing the suffering of our misery, we might repent of our ways in desperation and seek out the savior.
But no, you persist in despair. I'd like to think its more of ignorance rather than pride, but all the resources of knowledge and availability have been there for you, so that's a hard case to make. Even so, God continues to reach out his merciful hand to you, pining to give you the peace that can only come from him. All that stops you is the fear that you're actually correct; that there is actually no hope and that there is no salvation. Again, if that were the case, death, despair, and irrationality is all you will ever have. Maybe that's the world you want to live in, I doubt it.
If you have doubts as to what I say, I invite you to have an audio conversation with me any day. If you can honestly place a reasonable doubt on the Christian message, then I will thank you for pulling me out of a delusion, and perhaps you might get some satisfaction out of the fact that someone in the world is slightly less idiotic. Otherwise, you might get one step closer to leaving your personal Hell.
Matthew 4:4
He said in reply, “It is written:
‘One does not live by bread alone,
but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God.’”
Oof. Hospitals are terrible at the best of times, and this isn't that. It sounds like you're doing better, and I'm glad. I enjoy your voice because it so often reflects my own interior monologue. Often bitter and cynical, but also managing to be hopeful despite that. This particular dispatch is pretty dark, but we're all in a pretty dark place. Denying it won't help anything.
Very good. Sometimes I wonder if covid in one way or another is just never going to end? I mean, I know at some point, there's going to be a magical line where we just decide covid is over, whether it is or not.
But this was very insightful. Thank you for writing it
Oh sweetie…
Good luck. That's all I've got besides Thank you.
You did a great job with the audio version- not sure how you managed it, but thanks. I am more likely to listen than to read. I hope you are feeling better soon.
Dear Laura. I don’t really know you, but I do. This is painfully beautiful. I’m grateful for every single word, all your words really. And I can’t imagine the courage it takes to be where you are right now. Thank you.
Whew. Thanks for that.
For what it's worth... I'm glad you're here.
This applies to most (all?) of us. Just barely keeping our shit together as the world falls apart around us - or at least the parts that we depend on or assume will be there to catch us. And then it's our turn.
One of the greatest mysteries of Man is why he remains obstinate in sin. Why does he prolong his suffering? All there is present in secularism is despair, powerlessness, and horror. Hope is irrational. And yet, it is this very assessment of truth that Godless men wish to remain in. Why bother? There are no laudable convictions in a Godless world; truth becomes relative. It is non-sensical, and the testimony of the nonsense is the suffering and restlessness they endure every day, creating their own personal Hell.
I know because I was there, where you were. Except we had coloring activates and group therapy. I will admit you had it worse, because that group therapy was what kept me afloat. Still, it was only a distraction from the Hell I had created for my self in my soul, which waited at the gate of my conscious for just a moment of boredom or leisure. COVID has only exposed the depravity that was already there, and in experiencing the suffering of our misery, we might repent of our ways in desperation and seek out the savior.
But no, you persist in despair. I'd like to think its more of ignorance rather than pride, but all the resources of knowledge and availability have been there for you, so that's a hard case to make. Even so, God continues to reach out his merciful hand to you, pining to give you the peace that can only come from him. All that stops you is the fear that you're actually correct; that there is actually no hope and that there is no salvation. Again, if that were the case, death, despair, and irrationality is all you will ever have. Maybe that's the world you want to live in, I doubt it.
If you have doubts as to what I say, I invite you to have an audio conversation with me any day. If you can honestly place a reasonable doubt on the Christian message, then I will thank you for pulling me out of a delusion, and perhaps you might get some satisfaction out of the fact that someone in the world is slightly less idiotic. Otherwise, you might get one step closer to leaving your personal Hell.
Matthew 4:4
He said in reply, “It is written:
‘One does not live by bread alone,
but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God.’”
Oof. Hospitals are terrible at the best of times, and this isn't that. It sounds like you're doing better, and I'm glad. I enjoy your voice because it so often reflects my own interior monologue. Often bitter and cynical, but also managing to be hopeful despite that. This particular dispatch is pretty dark, but we're all in a pretty dark place. Denying it won't help anything.
Get well soon.
Very good. Sometimes I wonder if covid in one way or another is just never going to end? I mean, I know at some point, there's going to be a magical line where we just decide covid is over, whether it is or not.
But this was very insightful. Thank you for writing it